Learning to Take Care of Myself

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Before I had a baby, I promised myself I wouldn’t become one of those everything-is-about-my-kid parents. I wouldn’t revolve my whole life around my child. I would love her. I would be there for her. I would spend tons of quality time with her. But I would also make sure to take care of myself so I stayed healthy, happy, and, well, me. I believe that in order to teach healthy behaviors to my baby girl, I have to model them for her. And I think one of the healthiest behaviors (that I’ve yet to master personally) is taking care of yourself.

Of course, now that I’m a Mama, I realize that finding time to care for yourself is much easier said than done. It’s damn hard to figure out how to put yourself on your own priority list. When you have a free half hour and the laundry needs to be done, you have 10 emails to answer, and the kitchen floor needs swept, those items all feel so much more important than going to gym or relaxing in a bubble bath. But what I’m trying to teach myself (and eventually, pass on to my daughter) is that those items aren’t more important than self-care. If anything, they’re less important because if you don’t take care of yourself, eventually it catches up to you and everything else comes crashing down. It isn’t selfish to take care of yourself. And there are no medals for being a Mommy martyr (which, worth noting, I think this is a problem that extends way beyond motherhood—I think everyone, parent or not, struggles with this, I just don’t know of a better phrase to label it).

I’ve been working on giving myself higher priority in my life for years. In certain aspects, I’ve succeeded. But, for the most part, I still really struggle with showing myself compassion and appreciation. I consider myself a compassionate person who is deeply grateful to lead such a fortunate life, but I still struggle with seeing myself through the same positive lens that I view the rest of the world. I’m working on it. And now that I have a tiny human that I’m molding, I want to work even harder. For better or worse, I will be her main model for how she treats herself in the future—and I want her to be a compassionate person. I want her to have compassion for others and for herself. And I’m the person she’s going to learn it from. How’s that for motivation to get my act together? The irony of this is that having a child has become my main motivation to make my life about more than just having a child. Oh universe, you work in funny ways.

Lately, I’ve been working on this by taking baby steps (pun intended) daily. I’m not reformed enough to book a long weekend at a spa, but I am seeing my own value enough to slowly implement self-care into my everyday. I thought I might share some of the ways I’ve been taking care of myself lately. They aren’t major, but they are important.

Eating dinner with my family

dinner quiche salad

I’m a pretty skilled multitasker, which also means that I struggle when I am just doing one thing at a time. This really applies to mealtimes. I’ve always struggled with just eating. I always feel like I need to eat and answer emails. Or eat and watch TV. Or eat and read a book. But lately I’ve been trying to eat most meals—especially dinner—and just focus on eating and conversing with my family. 

Taking a walk everyday

me feet flip flops

I’m not quite to the point where I can devote the kind of time to doing a long gym session or going to a fitness class everyday, but I can take a walk. Somedays, I’m lucky if I can get 10 minutes in, but even just that few minutes outside makes me feel so refreshed. I leave my phone in the house, and I just walk around and take in this beautiful place I live.

Two days off a week

Me and JuneBug Walk

Taking full days off from work is one of the hardest things for me to do, but it’s also one of the most restorative. I’ve started taking Wednesdays and Saturdays and signing off of work all day. I don’t answer emails. I try not to check into social media. I definitely don’t do any design work or writing. I just spend those two days enjoying life! Wednesday is my day with the baby girl (while Craig does school work), and we’ve taken to spending that day going to park, hanging out at the library, and playing for hours and hours. It is such a fun way to spend the day! And on Saturdays, we have family day where we go on hikes, go visit fun local towns, and soak up our time together.

Treating myself to a fancy coffee

Dunkin Donuts Coffee

Since I had to give up dairy and soy because of nursing, I’ve found myself really missing the ritual of stopping off at a coffee shop and getting some sweet, dessert-y coffee drink. I didn’t do it very often, but it was a small way for me to take care of myself when I was out running errands. I don’t think I quite realized how important it was to me before I couldn’t do it anymore. There is something so soothing about getting a coffee and walking around Target, you know? That’s why I was so incredibly excited when my friends at Blue Diamond Almonds sent me an email last week telling me that Dunkin Donuts was starting to carry Blue Diamond almondmilk in their stores for use in coffees and lattes. I am so happy that I can get back to my fancy coffee ritual (with decaf coffee and almondmilk).

Sticking to my hobbies

DIY Taggie Blanket

I don’t have the same kind of time to devote to my hobbies as I did before, but I still think it’s important for me to carve out a few hours per week to sew, craft, and garden. Doing these projects really helps refresh me and keep me sane! I used to be able to devote a few days to a project and really plow through from start-to-finish, but I’m realizing now that I have to work on projects in manageable chunks. I can no longer just go hide away in my sewing nook and work on something for eight straight hours. I have a few fun projects up my sleeve to show you guys over the next few months!

Showing appreciation for myself

kitchen

I believe that words are powerful, including the words we use to talk about ourselves. Admittedly, I’m not always kind to myself. When something goes wrong, I’m the first to assign blame to myself. I’m trying to head off those negative words, and instead give myself the benefit of the doubt. Mistakes happen. Life becomes tricky. I’m human. And it’s okay to be human. On the flip side of this, I’m also trying to show myself some appreciation when I do positive things. I’m allowing myself to feel proud. Even if it’s as small as making sure my kitchen is clean at the end of the day. It’s okay to feel proud of yourself!

What do you guys do to try and take care of yourself? How do you manage to carve out the time?

Cassie is the founder and CEO of Wholefully. She's a home cook and wellness junkie with a love of all things healthy living. She lives on a small hobby farm in Southern Indiana with her husband, daughter, two dogs, two cats, and 15 chickens.
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